Feeling A Little Grinchy...

I'm thinking I need to do this.

Get everything off my chest.

This may not be the happiest post.

It definitely may not be the most joyful, two-days before Christmas post.

And heck - you may even not want to read it.

And I wouldn't blame you.

But sometimes, life isn't full of rainbows and butterflies.

Sometimes you just feel like The Grinch.

 And recently, I've felt like The Grinch.

Now, I might sound ungrateful. Depressing. Whiny.

But I need a good vent.

So here's to hoping this vent, puts me back in the Christmas spirit.

  

One.

I've been stressed.

Hence the no blogging last week.

I didn't feel very bloggy at all. And I still don't.

I'm sure any teacher can relate to the fact that the last few weeks before winter break, are by far, the hardest. Sure - I may have procrastinated a little on my grades. I could have planned our winter party and activities a little sooner in advance. But if you aren't a teacher, you really don't understand all the things you truly have to get done before you leave for your break.

• Bulletin boards have to be January ready. 
• Grades have to be done by such and such date.
• Test all 23 children in your class for their current end of the grading period reading levels, all while trying to provide engaging and meaningful lessons to the kids you can't assist because you're busy testing one.
• Providing a holiday party that your kids will cherish and remember for as long as their seven year old brains will let them.
• Squeeze in any material you may not have gotten to throughout the nine weeks.
• Making sure you have so many grades in the grade book per subject.
• Having lesson plans done for the week you come back from break.
• Oh, and sorry custodians. Because I totally forgot to unplug everything in my classroom for the break because I was carrying a 15 lb bag full of papers needing to be graded. Oops.

 I love my job. I love my kids. I love my school.

It just gets to be overwhelming.

And even though I'm done with most of the things on my list from school, I still don't feel relieved. I feel like there's something I'm forgetting. Something that needs to be done.

Two.

I am not in the Christmas spirit at all.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch."

Yeah, that's me.

 I think there's a few reasons why my heart is feeling three sizes too small these days.

• Yeah, you heard about the data breach at Target? Oh hey, meet victim number #23,452,653 out of 40 million. It's been awesome timing, really. I can't access my debit card account because Bank of America closed it for precautionary measures. I appreciate it. I really do. BUT NOW!?! In the midst of my Christmas shopping? My lucky fiance' will have a whopping one gift to open for Christmas. And it's not even that good. I know he understands, but it's the fact of the matter.
• Cody and I decided we would not be attending my family's Christmas this year on Christmas day. For the last five years, he has so selflessly put his family on the back burner, rushed Christmases with his parents and grandparents, to attend my family's Christmases. We felt like this year, we should try something different. And although my family has crapped their pants over this, we feel it is for the best. We always see my parents on Christmas Eve for Christmas dinner. We're seeing my grandparents on the 26th for a post-Christmas lunch. We got this covered y'all. Wait until we have kids - Christmas will revolve around my kids. Not traveling all over the world.  
• HOW CAN CHRISTMAS BE TWO DAYS AWAY? I have not made cookies. I have not made a gingerbread house. I have not gone to see Christmas lights. I have not watched one Christmas movie. I'M NOT READY. I need Christmas activities to put me in the Christmas spirit.

 Three.

Wedding planning has all of a sudden freaked me out.

We've had a lot of things go wrong.

• My engagement ring. [I finally got my new one back and sized.]
• I lost a bridesmaid.
• Our Save the Dates really didn't turn out the way I hoped. In fact, I'm kinda embarrassed by them. People's Christmas cards look better than my Save the Dates.

There's so many decisions I need to start making, and honestly, I've put wedding planning on the back burner recently. With a little over five months left, I feel like I'm running out of time.

I'm questioning some of the decisions I've made thus far - such as the bridesmaid dresses. Did I pick the right dress? Is the color going to work with my vision? Is it ugly? AHHH.

 I need to take some deep breaths apparently.

And I'm done.

I hope Santa is extra good to you if you read this far.