Monday, December 23, 2013

Feeling A Little Grinchy...

I'm thinking I need to do this.
Get everything off my chest.

This may not be the happiest post.
It definitely may not be the most joyful, two-days before Christmas post.
And heck - you may even not want to read it.
And I wouldn't blame you.

But sometimes, life isn't full of rainbows and butterflies.
Sometimes you just feel like The Grinch.

 And recently, I've felt like The Grinch.

Now, I might sound ungrateful. Depressing. Whiny.
But I need a good vent.
So here's to hoping this vent, puts me back in the Christmas spirit.

I've been stressed.
Hence the no blogging last week.
I didn't feel very bloggy at all. And I still don't.

I'm sure any teacher can relate to the fact that the last few weeks before winter break, are by far, the hardest. Sure - I may have procrastinated a little on my grades. I could have planned our winter party and activities a little sooner in advance. But if you aren't a teacher, you really don't understand all the things you truly have to get done before you leave for your break.

  • Bulletin boards have to be January ready. 
  • Grades have to be done by such and such date.
  • Test all 23 children in your class for their current end of the grading period reading levels, all while trying to provide engaging and meaningful lessons to the kids you can't assist because you're busy testing one.
  • Providing a holiday party that your kids will cherish and remember for as long as their seven year old brains will let them.
  • Squeeze in any material you may not have gotten to throughout the nine weeks.
  • Making sure you have so many grades in the grade book per subject.
  • Having lesson plans done for the week you come back from break.
  • Oh, and sorry custodians. Because I totally forgot to unplug everything in my classroom for the break because I was carrying a 15 lb bag full of papers needing to be graded. Oops.
 I love my job. I love my kids. I love my school.
It just gets to be overwhelming.
And even though I'm done with most of the things on my list from school, I still don't feel relieved. I feel like there's something I'm forgetting. Something that needs to be done.


I am not in the Christmas spirit at all.
"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch."
Yeah, that's me.

 I think there's a few reasons why my heart is feeling three sizes too small these days.

  • Yeah, you heard about the data breach at Target? Oh hey, meet victim number #23,452,653 out of 40 million. It's been awesome timing, really. I can't access my debit card account because Bank of America closed it for precautionary measures. I appreciate it. I really do. BUT NOW!?! In the midst of my Christmas shopping? My lucky fiance' will have a whopping one gift to open for Christmas. And it's not even that good. I know he understands, but it's the fact of the matter.
  • Cody and I decided we would not be attending my family's Christmas this year on Christmas day. For the last five years, he has so selflessly put his family on the back burner, rushed Christmases with his parents and grandparents, to attend my family's Christmases. We felt like this year, we should try something different. And although my family has crapped their pants over this, we feel it is for the best. We always see my parents on Christmas Eve for Christmas dinner. We're seeing my grandparents on the 26th for a post-Christmas lunch. We got this covered y'all. Wait until we have kids - Christmas will revolve around my kids. Not traveling all over the world.  
  • HOW CAN CHRISTMAS BE TWO DAYS AWAY? I have not made cookies. I have not made a gingerbread house. I have not gone to see Christmas lights. I have not watched one Christmas movie. I'M NOT READY. I need Christmas activities to put me in the Christmas spirit.

Wedding planning has all of a sudden freaked me out.
We've had a lot of things go wrong.

  • My engagement ring. [I finally got my new one back and sized.]
  • I lost a bridesmaid.
  • Our Save the Dates really didn't turn out the way I hoped. In fact, I'm kinda embarrassed by them. People's Christmas cards look better than my Save the Dates.
There's so many decisions I need to start making, and honestly, I've put wedding planning on the back burner recently. With a little over five months left, I feel like I'm running out of time.
I'm questioning some of the decisions I've made thus far - such as the bridesmaid dresses. Did I pick the right dress? Is the color going to work with my vision? Is it ugly? AHHH.
 I need to take some deep breaths apparently.
And I'm done.
I hope Santa is extra good to you if you read this far.


  1. OH Sweet friend, I wish I could give you a hug and a bottle of wine!

    My sister is a teacher, so while I can't fully empathize with your last week, I can sympathize. I hope that the two weeks of vacation allow you to get some rest and things done :)! Hope you get some Christmas cheer soon. Just remember, the Christmas season lasts until January 6 [epiphany] so you can get lots of Christmas stuff done after and it TOTALLY COUNTS!]

    I think that's nice you are changing it up for Christmas this year, it sounds like y'all are making the right choice. My husband told me that when we have kids, we won't be traveling, everyone can come to us :)

    And lastly [wholy long comment] I promise all of your wedding stuff will come together. Don't stress about the Save the Dates. I made my own, and were they as fancy as others, no but it serviced it's purpose. With the wedding only being five months away, its more about the invitations anyway. Plus, I am sure they will look fabulous! And the dresses are going to perfect, because you went with your gut in the beginning so it will be good.

    I think that's nice you are changing it up for Christmas this year, it sounds like y'all are making the right choice. My husband told me that when we have kids, we won't be traveling, everyone can come to us :)

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  3. Oh girly! I am so sorry you were one of the victims of the Target scam. That is truly no fun and would put anyone in a grinchy mood. Splitting Christmas sucks but you're right it had to happen at one time or another!

  4. Aww girl. . . . I am feeling the same way. We have different stressors in our lives but I am the one who always loves christmas and I am just not in the spirit this year. I haven't made cookies, my husband has been sick, we haven't figured out our christmas plans with my in-laws, my father in-law is back in the hospital. I just need a night with some hot cocoa and baileys and some christmas lights and cookies along with watching Elf to put me back in the christmas spirit! wish we were closer so we could do those things together! I hope you are able to do something fun with your time off and enjoy time with Cody!

  5. Girl, don't worry about the family get togethers!! It's so hard to try & please everyone, but do what is best for YALL! Now go grab some wine or sweet tea & relax for a little bit!! There are still a few things I would love to buy for people but I am so not every worried about it this. I absolutely LOVE (obsessed more like it!) this time of the year, but lately I have been a scrooge/grinch to! But you know what? It's ok. We will be OK! WE WILL get through this!

  6. I'm SO sorry that you've been having a rough time! I'm positive Cody will love his present no matter but mostly just love celebrating Christmas with you. I agree that wedding planning can feel a bit overwhelming (I've caught myself questioning some decisions I've made) but when it is all said and's going to be one of the best day's ever and everything will be beautiful :)

    Hope you start feeling better and your heart grows 6 times bigger :) Have a happy happy Christmas friend!!!

  7. I will have been married for two months on the 26th of this month, and as far as the wedding thing goes, I can tell you this for sure: Something WILL go wrong the day of, but everything will STILL be perfect. All of the little things leading up to it, mean nothing. As long as you, your fiancé, and the pastor all show up- you have everything you truly need. Don't let the little things get you down. You won't remember them anyways.

    Also, I'm totally with you on the Grinch thing. I'm a huge Christmas person, but this year, I'm just not feeling it.

    Praying that we both get some stress relief, and some Christmas spirit in us by tomorrow night. Merry Christmas and God Bless!

  8. I wish I could write you 500 words of encouragement. Many of the things you are expressing are totally normal at this stage of life, but the circumstances certainly make things sucky right now. I sincerely hope things turn around for you very soon.

  9. I'm sorry you are feeling Grinchy lately! But take everything one day at a time. Squeeze in a little baking while home alone 2 plays, and grade with some Christmas music going on in the background. I'm very sorry to hear that your account has been frozen, but the Holidays shouldn't be about the presents, focus on the family and Cody. I am sure he will love his one gift, (and he will totally let you make it up to him). Your wedding will turn out as beautiful as you! From experience, I know that with wedding planning, things will go wrong & you may not like how a thing or two turned out, but focus on seeing your soon to be husbands face on the alter and your first dance! Save the dates are not the moment of a lifetime that you will always remember! I hope that things turn around quickly for you and you have an amazing Christmas!

  10. The holidays are rough! School and wedding planning thrown in there?! Oy! Hang in there. Everyone is feeling it this year. I think it's because Christmas was so close to Thanksgiving. It's like we lost a week!

  11. Thank you for being real and honest on your blog! I appreciate the blogger that shares the stuff that isn't all sunshine and rainbows. That being said, ugh sounds like you're going through one heck of a rough patch. So sorry to hear about your debit card being shut off and all that. My credit union is sending me a new debit card as a precautionary measure but thankfully they didn't block me from accessing my current one while the new one is being mailed to me. I hope you were able to enjoy Christmas with your fiance and enjoy your time off from school. Maybe this break will recharge you and things will be better in the new year!